Greetings, Maggie,
I wish I could say that I have been in the situation you describe. I haven't, although I've lived with the dementia of my mother and now the long-term decline and dementia of my husband. I do know the pain and grief (and guilt) that comes when you can no longer provide care for your loved one, and have to take the steps to get outside help so that you can stay alive! My heart goes out to you.
It sounds as if you have done absolutely the best you can do, and I salute your courage and resilience! My thoughts are with you as you continue this journey.
Nouce