I find that video, reading, posts, blogs, etc. All are part of my grief journey/work. That seems so counter intuative because it just opens up my wound though, I believe my grief wound is where light, knowledge, and understanding enters me. My memories dance and become bigger and more beautiful.
It is less about tammping down the pain or stopping the tears. Crying seems less about the hurt and more an exercise in cleansing feelings and emotions. They fall and I see them knowing I'm making strides in recognizing the love we had had and that will always be. I like know Donna is watching me to contiue to grow into the man she loved into being.
I want to hit on the topic of this thread, "...how do I know". I think being here sharing so open and honestly is ok. Feeling all you are feeling is ok. Crying is ok. Learning and not pushing it down away is ok. It will never be ok. We walk with our grief our person not as a burden or in pain but in love. Donna is my there for me. Being here sharing helping each other is kind of like the words we say out loud and shared takes the puzzle of our feelings and offers a narrative for us to see and others to see. Just writing this I am learning. Friday nights hurt me because that was our night to put the week away. My pain is abject today. Yet being here is helping me.
Finally, for me closure is denial. Closure is indifference. I will not do that to Donna or my memories. Yet I live and try to be me for me for Donna. Peace out You got this I see your warrior.