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No will , POA, or substitute decision maker 
Started by Lmg
23 Jan 2024, 8:10 PM

Hi, I just found this resource here and looking for guidance. My daughter is 39 with two young children and a husband. She has advanced rectal cancer with metastatic liver tumours. Diagnosed June 2023. I am 15 hours away from her. She says she doesn't need a will because it will all go to her husband! How can I convince her to get her affairs in order, without getting her upset by my concerns about this? Surprised her Social worker is not doing this. Any comments suggestions are welcomed. Thank you
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24 Jan 2024, 2:40 PM

Hi LMG,
Glad you found the site.  These kinds of conversations are hard to have over the phone - so 15 hours away must seem so far.

Although you may have this information already, it might be helpful information for your daughter and her husband - article on Wills,. You might also send a message to the Ask a Professional Clinical Team on this Canadian Virtual Hospice site. I think they might have helpful information. 

I am going to check with others on this forum to see if they can offer additional support.

Do you have any sense of what your son-in-laws thoughts are on a will? Has your daughter talked about reasons why she does not want to make a will? I am just wondering if perhaps it is too difficult a topic for her to think about. 

How are you doing? Are there people in your life who can listen and be there for you too?

Katherine

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Reply by Lmg
24 Jan 2024, 10:26 PM

Hi Katherine, thanks for responding. I believe my son in law does want to discuss, a will and advance planning. My daughter ( I believe is in denial ) about this devastating illness and it's advanced stage. We don't won't her to feel we a giving up on her plans for a cure. We know it's important to have these affairs in place , but her mind won't go there. They own 2 farms and run a business from the farm. She is a Police officer on leave. I really want to help with this but, I'm feeling stuck. I am a RN recently retired. 
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