Thank you to all who replied to my post. It means so much to me to have words of understanding and encouragement. Friends and family all seem to avoid the topic or are afraid to even mention his name. That is sad for me. I tend to cry when I am alone, cause it upsets my children. My father told me not to cry on the day of my husband's funeral he said, I had to be strong for my family. I regret not grieving that day. Why are people so afraid of someone shredding tears?
Dear Plum1, know that I feel your prayers and love. Before my husband passed away, he told me there had to be a creator, a greater being such as God because we are too complex. We are still trying to unravel the things we don't know about the human body, perhaps we never will. I was there when he passed, and have to say it is an experience that has no words. It was then that I prayed to God to end his suffering and set him free in heaven. He is my Angel above.
To cocopham, I live in Manitoba and next summer I will be making a trip to Quebec to meet with my husbands family. There we will be spreading Guy's ashes and finish the journey. He will be home in Rimouski, Quebec. I do have family here and we will be getting together on the 25th. Just not sure how it is going to go. Thank you for the XMAS invitation, it certainly was tempting. Brought a smile to my face and for that I thank you very much.
Yes, GirlWithTheBlackBeret, you have a very good idea. Starting a new holiday tradition would help and I will be thinking about that one. I have to encourage and thank you Colleen for this place to post emotions and the info the Virtual Hospice provides. Without it, I would have nothing, no place for help.
Wondering how Diptera is doing. Thinking of you and praying you are coping ok.