Hello Donzo,
Welcome to the community. Glad you found us – this is a welcoming, safe community where people can talk about things that are not always easily broached. A place where people can perhaps, ‘test the waters’.
I don’t have an answer for you Donzo, as to when you will know if it’s right to see other women. Each person’s grief and experience is different. But I can tell you what I have learned about myself. My husband died over 5 years ago, after lengthy illness. It was expected, but I think death is always unexpected no matter how evident the signs are. He had a crazy sense of humour (one of the many things I loved about him) and used to tell me, “Now don’t find someone new at my funeral!” I didn’tJ More recently, a few friends have asked if I am interested in dating and I say no I haven’t found anyone interested in me or vice versa. But on reflection I realize that I am not interested in meeting anyone new, it has nothing to do with ‘finding’ someone. However, I know a couple of people who have been widowed less than a year who are interested in finding companionship. It’s right for them.
Other people will often have an opinion on the choices we make after the death of a spouse. Most times I think it is because they care about us and don’t want us to make a mistake or move on too quickly. I find it can be helpful, but not always an easy choice, to talk with people I think might disagree with me – helps me to know if what I am thinking or believing is really a good fit for me.
My husband also used to say, “What do you think of what I shared with you?” May I ask you that same question? I would be interested in thoughts of other members of the community as well.
Warm regards,
Katherine