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Reply by Rupee
17 Jan 2022, 2:57 AM

Hello Katherine,
My closest childhood friend gave me the nikname.  I can't remember how she came up with it.  My actual name is Ruth.  So I guess it is close.
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Reply by vmcdonald
17 Jan 2022, 3:59 PM

Dear Rupee, I'm so sorry to hear about your many losses. It's very hard to know how to process each one. My mother died of lung cancer just before my middle daughter was diagnosed with leukemia.  She died after two and half years of treatment and I felt badly that I didn't really have time or space to honour my mother and find ways to include her in my life. When my daughter died at age nine, I also had to support my two other daughters, who were 6 and 11 at the time. It's all so fraught! As a family, we have created traditions to keep my daughter in our lives--we celebrate her birthday with her favourite meal. When the kids were little, I bought them small gifts. On Christmas Day, Santa still leaves a gift in my daughter's stocking. This year, it was tickets to the new Harry Potter play--she was a huge fan and it's an activity we can all do together. You have so many challenges--to grieve for your sisters and your beloved daughter and to support your young grandchildren. I found that it really helped to learn more about how children grieve. Canadian Virtual Hospice has a specific website that you might find useful: https://kidsgrief.ca/. I learned so much from my children about different ways to grieve and their needs gave me the resolve to continue to include my daughter in our lives, to talk about her and make sure other people know about her. But it all takes a lifetime. My daughter died in 1999 and I'm still finding new ways to think about it and understand it.  
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