Dear Janny
My heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for you, on your own, to follow up on your brother's death. And I understand the questions that are so hard to answer. My sister's death was very complicated as well. I have been told that we will never know what our loved ones went through, what decisions they might have made and why. And that is so hard to comprehend. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. It is wonderful you speak to your father everyday, I have also lost my sibling and mother, and wonder how my father manages, I call him every day as well.
There is no one way to grieve. I am very stoic, and then I cry. I push all the thoughts away and then they pop back in. It is a rollercoaster. I was in shock for a very long time.
Sending positive thoughts to you,
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