Dear Andy2112,
my sincere condolences to you on your sudden and difficult loss.
i can’t say I walk in your shoes but I do know how loss feels.. it’s damn tough.
We all come away feeling ripped from our loved one - on top of the pain of watching them suffer and decline
you have come to the right place to let out your feelings, express your pain and loss, maybe connect with others who can empathize with you
I want to tell you a tiny story - and let you know you aren’t in a corner by yourself
a few weeks ago I suddenly lost a good friend, someone younger than myself ( he was 63 and I am soon going to be 70!)
this injustice angered me, I was shocked to my core. This person was like a brother to me and he had been a great friend for 10yrs.
he didn’t deserve it. He was living a healthy lifestyle and always after me to try his diet.
I find that his unexpected loss cut me to the quick and I have some bad days and very dark days - despite knowing I can’t change things ..
i dont want to minimize your serious loss, I want to hug you through my keyboard ( wish that were possible) and let you know that we all are here to understand and support
your huge loss is going to affect for a long while - but I do have to encourage you to take good care of yourself - that’s where to start
the past two daus I threw myself on the bed and tried to sleep - tried to block out the depression that was getting hold of me
I couldn’t focus, concentrate, I wasn’t hungry, I stayed in my home... and I thought I was losing it
But tonight I feel a tiny bit better, made myself go out for a walk, had tea and toast tonight - just because that’s what I wanted
life is not Fair sometimes.
Life is full of challenges
I found out about your message this evening and knew I had to reply to you - as a fellow human being who is also feeling loss and confusion. Wondering why my friend and not me.
i hope that this note will give you courage, to know you are among friends and that writing your feelings down is helpful
whaf you have had to go through was certainly a shock and hard to prepare for - and I compliment you on doing it all with the best of your ability
are there any grief support groups near you?
are there’s any counselors near you? It could prove to be helpful or just talk to friends who understand- it’s about just saying what’s on your mind - and sharing it
it does help very much
please write again, say what’s on your heart, and know that you are going to recover but in your time - and having said that, your pain will always be nearby. Your loved one isn’t forgotten.
i have written too much, I’m sorry, but I am saying what I hope will help
life without love is empty, and when you lose your loved one you are adrift / but love makes life so meaningful .
I do hope my words will help you feel less alone, less isolated
Thanks for reaching out
sincerely
NatR 💕
PS hugs 🤗 included in this note