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The last of my 15 year old, twin granddaughter 
Started by NanG
30 Mar 2023, 7:31 PM

Hi, this past December 20th 2022 I lost one of my 15yr old twin granddaughter to suicide.
I'm so heartbroken, my daughter, her husband, my 17-year-old grandson, her 15 year-old twin, and her younger sister 11 years old, all witnessed her laying in her bed with a gunshot wound to her head. I'm crying and so heartbroken as I'm writing this right now.. I feel so helpless to my daughter and her family that are crushed. I'm so so heartbroken right now my heart aches so much that I can't stand it. 
she had a perfect life, so we thought, my daughter did everything for them. They were very talented in sports, she was an A student. She was very very smart, there was no arguments or slamming doors, it was a happy house, a happy lovable family they lived in a big house. They went on vacations they were involved in all kinds of activities. It was just so unexpected and out of the blue and we have so many questions of why, why what was on her mind. I feel so sad for her, that whatever it was she felt in her mind that she Figured that this was the only way out.
i'm here helping up my daughter and her family that are destroyed and I don't show any emotions on my own, trying to be strong for them and help them in every way that I can, but behind closed doors is killing me. We were so close and I was always with the family. someone told me to go on the site. I don't know if it will make me feel any better or relieve any of my pain or sadness but I figured I'd put it in here anyway. 
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30 Mar 2023, 11:28 PM

Dear NanG,
What a huge and heavy loss for you and your family.  And it must be so difficult to support while your own heart is breaking. The resource (When someone has died by suicide) I am suggesting will not 'fix' the pain or grief, but perhaps some of the words, lived stories and experiences will let you know you are not alone. This resource was developed by the Canadian Virtual Hospice in collaboration with National grief specialists and people who have grieved a death by suicide. 

I can understand how you want to in a way protect others in your family from the grief and sadness you are experiencing. Have you found a counsellor, group, community where you are able to express how you feel in a safe environment? The death of a child is heartbreaking - and perhaps if you feel supported and held up - you will be better able to support your daughter, her husband and your grandchildren.  The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention  can offer online support, whereever you are in Canada. 

I know that others in this Discussion Forum community will come along to support you as well. 

Kind regards,
Katherine


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Reply by NanG
31 Mar 2023, 12:54 AM

 I looked through some of the information and I want to thank you for your support.
 
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