Daughtering Along. I love your handle.
I am sorry that you are going through such tough times. Just remember: anytime you need additional support, we are here for you.
It is sweet that your mother (even while feeling anger) is happy to see you. Cherish these times.
Her anger might be entirely situational/circumstantial.
Do you take the fact that she is angry as being anger towards you? Do you really think that is the case? I wonder if you should talk to someone about that.
As for your Dad, at our residential hospice here, we want people to make applications/referrals to us.
The Intake Coordination reviews them and helps determine the best course of action. Generally, people are admitted who are viewed (by the doctors) as having less than 3 months to live.
You said, “I feel like I made a huge mistake bringing my parents to this place, although it was my only option.’ That being the case, then it was not a mistake. You did the best you could for them.
There is a HUGE difference between guilt and regret.
Guilt is for people who did something that perhaps they should really feel guilty about. As a result, they “beat themselves up” about it. From what you said, that doesn’t describe you: That isn’t you.
Regret , on the other hand, is a commonality with all of us. We regret that things turn out a certain way, but it was unavoidable.
It doesn’t help our grieving (i.e. grieving the loss of better times) process if we unnecessarily burden ourselves with unwarranted feelings of guilt.
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to the wonderful daughter that you are.
- eKim