hi cathcall,thanks for a reply,regarding my name..my nickname,when i was 18 my freinds started refering to me as...radicalrick with his casual calmness..i was super fun to be around but was always able to be casually calm in any situation,this aplyes to this day,just like when i was diagnoised i was casually calm about the whole situation,and no not in denial.

i do believe there is more to life than birth and death,i truley believe we live in a cycle,we live multiple live in which time we learn and hopfully improve i dont belive in god persay but i do think there is a possible creater or mother of somekind,i mean think about it we could be liveing in some kind of simulation,mabey we are a part of virtual reality game...i mean who knows,but i am not affraid of death because i do believe there is more to this crazy universe...i was thinking last night and i thought to myself...this cancer is stupid its killing its host,so i internally tod it i would be okay if it stuck around as long as it didnt grow anymore,call a stalemate and we can both live happily ever after.

i sure wish more people would get involved with posting,sharing thoughts and information i think this would benifit all of us ,im dissapointed that there are not more shared...so people share away......radical rick with his casual calmness...F**K CANCER

Hello radicalrick

It’s eKim here.  I have posted to this thread previously (see above). I would like to share a couple of things with you that I have come across since I last posted to this “comment thread”.

First, a bit about me:  I was raised in the Christian faith.  I have not abandoned my roots but I have not been a “churchgoer” for about 20 years now. I consider myself a very spiritual person.  I truly believe that my hospice work is my response to a “calling” to serve.  I feel closer to God at hospice that I ever did in church. I have been a “resident support volunteer at our local hospice for 5 years.  I help out with “spiritual care” at our hospice. 

When I am sitting with a resident (patient) or family member, my view is this: At this very moment, whatever “spirituality or religion” means to that person, that is how I relate to them.  I am not there to proselytize.  I am there to listen and to comfort.

I am good at relating to agnostics and secularists.  EVERY single one of my immediate family falls into that category.  I respect their opinions and they respect mine. The following are a couple of things that I recently have come across during my own spiritual journey.  I hope that they are helpful.

I have just finished reading a book that has made a significant contribution to my spiritual journey.  Proof of Heaven (A Neurosurgeon's Near-Death Experience and Journey into the Afterlife)  - by Eben Alexander M.D.

Excerpt from Google books:  A #1 New York Times Bestseller -- Thousands have had near- death experiences, but scientists argue that they are impossible. Then neurosurgeon Eben Alexander's brain was attacked by a rare illness. His recovery is a medical miracle-- but not the real miracle. While his body lay in coma, Alexander journeyed beyond the physical world with an angelic being who guided him to the Divine source of the universe. Reading his story will change your life.

I have found this description of a Near Death Experience to be the only one that was free from the observer's indoctrinated assumptions. Written by a secular-minded neurosurgeon, it is very compelling and believable. 

Below is a sweet poem that I came across recently.  I find that it is comforting to both people of faith and agnostics who hope that there is more beyond our earthly existence.

What is this thing that we call dying?

I am standing on the seashore
A ship sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.
The ship is an object and I stand watching it
Till at last it fades from the horizon,
And someone at my side says, ‘The ship is gone!’ Gone where?
Gone from sight, that is all;
It is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as it was when I saw it,
And just as able to bear its load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in the ship;
And just at the moment when someone at my side says, ‘The ship is gone’,
There are others who are watching it coming,
And other voices take up a glad shout,
‘Here it comes’
And that is dying.”

- Modified from an original work “The Sailing Ship” by Bishop Charles Henry Brent

I would be interested in your research into the paranormal.  I am a fence-sitting open-minded skeptic when it comes to this stuff.  I love to learn, so let me know what you find.  - Ekim

Hi Carlyn
It’s eKim writing to you.  I have posted in this thread before, although I am only a sporadic contributor to Virtual Hospice.

I feel that I am a compassionate person – I have volunteered at our hospice for 5 years, however I have not had any severe adversity or great loss that others have who share on Virtual Hospice.  As a result I feel as though the “sharing” is best left to others who are on a similar path and thereby can offer true empathy and not simply compassion.

Nonetheless, I have learned to respond to my intuition and when the V.H. email arrived with your posting, I felt compelled to respond.

Carlyn, you wrote: “I'm glad I finally joined this forum today. It's a wonderful resource and I would like to see it grow in members. The more support we all have, the better I think. I know I need a fair bit of support just now and that's new for me so I'm grateful for this place. Thanks everyone.”

I am a huge believer in what I call, “Serendipitous Compassion From Strangers Amongst Us”.  I have benefited greatly from this phenomena many times in my life and as a result I attempt to “Pay It Backwards”, if you will.  Lol

At hospice our total focus is to provide as much psychosocial and/or spiritual care that is wanted by the residents and families.   I am drawn to comfort those amongst us who do not feel as though they have enough comfort from other people in their life.  So, if my words comfort you, then my duty is done. 

Carlyn, you stated: “I need this forum as a resource for myself now. Caregiving for ourselves is hard i'm finding out, especially when illness or disease is causing difficulty with self care.”

Carlyn, who is available to you in your immediate circle of supporting friends and/or family?  Are they fully able to “be there” for you, to help you both in practical and psychosocial matters? You seem to need more than what is availed to you.  Virtual Hospice is a great place to anonymously share with compassionate people”.

Please, tell us here at Virtual Hospice a bit more about yourself and your story and how we may reach out to you in a compassionate and helpful way.

I wish you the best Carlyn.  Here’s my hope that all your troubles will magically go away.  I love hope, don’t you?

- eKim

Ps  I have a short personal story to share with you – but I won’t in this posting.  Firstly it would make the posting too long and secondly it concerns my 3 year old grandson’s concept of the afterlife.  I’m not sure if people what to hear a story from a rambling old grandpa.  Lol  If anyone out there wishes to hear this story, let me know.

I was walking in the forest with my wee, 3 year old grandson.  He is quite a “deep thinker” for his age.  We often comment on him being an “old soul” of sorts.

I later asked my daughter if she ever spoke to him about the “afterlife”, she said, “No.  We haven’t even mentioned God to him.”  Ps nor have I or anyone else.  My daughter said, it sound to me like he “invented” “Doggie Heaven” and then she laughed.

I have heard it said that some children are able to sense their “Guardian Angel” and respond accordingly: this being an explanation for imaginary friends.  As always I remain an “open-minded sceptic” on the matter as I do with all the rest of the paranormal stuff that many people (but never me) have experienced and commented on.

-eKim