Blmyer
I hear you loud and clear. When Donna was diagnosed with stage IV cancer I began my grieving in anticipation of her death. Nearly fours years later she passed August 2011.
After her death what was anticipatory grief became active grieving. I wrote, participated in communities like VH, connected with others who were widowed, and volunteered. I read and watched videos.
Though I’ve come to believe that the deep wound of grief never really heals it does allow light in. Light allows me to see Donna better, us more clearly, and my grief as part of my life. I wrap my arms around her/our memories to keep from growing. Even if I feel emotionally mutilated by my loss. I know grief is like water taking the shape of its vessel. You are the vessel that holds your grief. Allow yourself to shape it in ways that features the magic of memories.
I found Nora McInerny’s TED Talk “We don’t ‘move on’ from grief. We move forward with it. Deeply helpful. She is smart and on point. Here is a link https://www.ted.com/speakers/nora_mcinerny
Being here and sharing is so important. Sometimes we need to get our words out. If we don’t they can be stuck inside us. And all those doubts fears pain will grab those words inside us and never let go. It will grind us down. Keep sharing We got you