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I’m not coping well 
Créé par Lorrie6419
10 juil. 2024, 20 h 03

i was with my brother today when he left this world via MAiD. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, it broke me. I can't stop crying and I feel sick, my chest/heart hurts.  Seeing him awake & aware just before made it so hard. saying goodbye was hard. The countdown of days and hours before hand were horrible. i am not handling this well, the sobbing is awful. How does one cope when the grief is so overwhelming
 
Réponse de Mark99
11 juil. 2024, 0 h 39

It broke you says it all. Tells us, the world, and yourself exactly what this loss this death means. It rended your heart and soul. We hear you. We understand you. And most of all it matters. You matter. Your pain matters.
 
Being here is not to be alone. Not to carry the grief like swimming with a back pack of bricks driving you underwater only to come up gasping for air. All you face, feel, and carry is how we cope with grief. Sharing and speaking to the wound it leaves.
 
We are here to hear you. Share with us to help you find the words. Tears are the words the heart has not spoken yet. You will find those words. Words are how we cope when we share with others who understand. We walk with our grief. We walk with your grief.
 
When you feel you can Nora McInerny has a TEDTalk on YouTube "We don't move on from grief. We move forward with it." It helped me so much. But again take your time.
 
If you can share memories of your brother with us. Allow us and others to see him as you do. We can sit in quite presence with you. You're not alone.
 
11 juil. 2024, 1 h 19

Dear Lorrie6419,

Although your world no longer feels normal, I think your responses today are so normal. Your brother left this world and for some days you have known it was coming and were dreading it. I think that all adds to the grief you are experiencing. 

The module Grief and Medical Assistance in Dying opens with the quote, "I thought I was ready, we talked about everything. But I just broke. I was prepared for my sister to die with MAiD, but not for the finality of death." And goes on to say, "It's difficult when someone close to you dies. A medically assisted death can result in feelings and experiences that may be different than with other deaths."

I am glad you found this forum and hope that posting allows you some release of the pain you have in your heart and body.  

We don't all have the same experiences, but we know the pain of loss and grief.

Warmly
Katherine
 
Réponse de Noelle
17 juil. 2025, 3 h 39

Dearest Lorrie:

I feel your pain, anguish, and grief and am very sorry for the loss of your brother.  I will also feel those same emotions when my son dies from his terminal illness.  However, I will not be completely broken because of what research scientists have uncovered about Near Death Experiences (NDEs)
from people who have had them.  Prominant NDE researchers such as Dr. Raymond Moody, Dr. Bruce Greyson, and Dr. Jeffrey Long are among many who have worked with people who have medically died or been very close to death but revived by doctors and lived to tell of their journeys into the Afterlife.  Reading Dr. Greyson's book titled, "AFTER" is giving me a great deal of comfort and strength to carry on and to feel more prepared for when it is my son's time to go.  Of course, I will grieve but I will also be greatly comforted with knowing that my son will be fine.  If you are interested, there are many YOUTUBE videos documenting NDE cases from people who want to share their experiences.  The channel that I listen to is called, "Coming Home" by Anthony Chene.  I sincerely hope that my response to your posting will be of help to you, Lorrie.  I wish you very well.


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