Hi Mary09
Hi Mary, I'm not sure If she did or not . She sent something but I'm not sure If it's
your email. I'm foogy head today, like you I'm starting to feel the stress and extra
work on my body and spirit. Today I took an afternoon nap, I haven't done that in at
least 2 years. I feel burnt out but i know I have to keep plugging away.
I'm sure your Mom is feeling exhausted from all the test and wondering If any of the
results are going to help. I'm sure her spirit has been broken. To have to endure week
after week of tests and chemo not only takes a toll on your body but also on your spirit
and soul. I commend her efforts as well as you and your family. You all need some
positive news and a break.
My older brother has diabetes but so far does not need to administer insulin to himself.
I'm somewhat surprise because he doesn't always stick to his daily diet but then do
any of us do. I hope your son doesn't run into any complications, you do not need that
weighing on your shoulders either.
Today I got up early and was their waiting to get into Costco to open to pick up items
for my mom for Christmas. I'm surprise how many people are too relaxed now about
social distancing etc. It makes me crazy and angry. I'm trying to keep my distance
and not allow anyone at our home to keep my mom alive and people stand right
beside me as If they know me. I want to scream but I kbnow it wouldn't do any good
and they would think I'm just over anxious.
I watched a special on ABC last night on Oprah interviewing the artist ADELE. It was
really powerful. She has a new album out with dfferent songs relating to her struggles
in her life and the relationship she had with her ex husband. Several time she
mentioned how she was just going through the emotions and how empty she was
feeling. It felt somewhat good to understand you, me and others are not the only ones
feeling this. I haven't been happy or content for many years. I feel I get up and do
the task and chorers that are expected of me but I feel so sad, depressed and
empty inside. I feel my soul or spirit is gone. I can actually feel myself cry on the
inside but not shed a tear. I'm finding that I'm even recenting mom's stories she
shares with me time after time. i keep reminding myself I need to charish these times
because they are not going to last and then feel guilty for feeling tired etc.
There are people that are less fortunate than myself and I have food in my tummy,
a roof over my head and somewhat secure, I should not feel sorry for myself etc.
Thinking of you and your family and wishing I could help more somehow. Hugs. Cheryl