Forums de discussion

 
Réponse de Mary09
06 oct. 2021, 23 h 10

Hi Countey Pumpkin,
Sorry to hear about your brother....I always think if I had siblings I would have help but I know that's not always the case.  It's good to find distractions and I'm glad you have someone to talk to. I find my two boys get me through my days...they keep me connected to the world...otherwise I would only see the inside of a doctors office abd the grocery store abd that would be it. 

it's nice to know wwre not alone.  I bet there's a lot of us out there.

Katherine.... totally understand and thanks for looking into this.  

 
 
Réponse de country pumpkin
07 oct. 2021, 5 h 47

Hi Mary09
I'm glad to hear you have your sons to talk with.  Unless you go through loss of a loved one or
is experiencing losing someone , people can empathize and feel for you but really do not know the
emotional rollercoaster one experience.  We all grow up thinking life is grand etc until something
terrible happens and then we feel all these emotions.  To bad as a child we did not get the education at school on how to deal with certain feelings and experiences.  I had a good education and have dealt with all types of people and their personalities.  Like many of you, I feel confused, angry, loss, sad etc. and I try to keep most of my emotions to myself.  I do not want to upset my
Mom, she knows she is dying and has accepted it.  I have accepted that fact she is dying but I
fighting the emotions I have inside. Finding work ,hobbies, etc helps myself keep my emotions
intake.  It may help others to keep themself somewhat occuppied , so they are not always thinking of the illness, etc. Society is just starting to recognize people of all cultures, sex and age have 
mental issues. Living with a loved one who is ill certain plays on our heart strings as well as our
physic.  Just knowing I'm not the only one in life struggling with my emotions over my family member..  Take time for yourself, even If it's to have a cup of tea or have a bubble bath.  Reflect
on how your love one has braught joy into your life!  I sit and listen to my Mom's stories, over and over, day after day.  One day I will not be able to hear them, so I cherish the time I have now.
God bless and thank you for lending an ear and heart.  Country Pumkin
 
Réponse de Mary09
07 oct. 2021, 15 h 06

Hi Country Pumpkin...
I don't actually speak to my sons...one is quite young and the other started university this year so I just keep everything to myself.  i still have to do things for them which keeps me busy and sometimes distracts me.  My younger son has type 1 diabetes and that requires round the clock care also.  I feel like a nurse more than a family member some days.
It must have been hard for your mom to accept she is dying.... and for you also.  Last month my mom went to ER because she could not stop vomiting...we thought she was going to pass that week.  We had the most uncomfortable discussions that we had to have.  But she kind of came around again but between the chemo and the drugs she is sleeping all the time.  I cannot get her to eat or drink barely and it is such a worry for me abd my dad.
im so glad you can find ways to take some time for yourself that's so important.  I'm not very good at it...I just don't seem to find joy in anything anymore.  Sorry we are heading to chemo now and it's always another hard day to go through. 
I hope you have a light day today.  xo 
 
Réponse de country pumpkin
08 oct. 2021, 1 h 54

Hi Mary09
I wish I could give you a hug and taken some of the burden off you.  My older brother has diabetes
and we had a scare that he might have diabetes1 because he was having his sugar count raise too
much.  He finally got it under contro after several months. Mom and I talk every day about her
condition as well as the past etc.  She is so tired, weak and ready to die.  It's hard to hear her say
that but I truly understand her feeling.  She has had a good and fulling life, she was married for
54 years to my dad and they got to do some travelling  around 5 continenants.  They both were hard workers all their lives and raised 3 children.  I feel like all I do is work around the house and spend time caring for my Mom.  I find withthe Covid virus still lingering on that I'm very anxious and do not want to leave the house to do errands.  People are becoming more and more laid back
about social distancing etc, they forget that there are people that are still very valnerable to this
deadly virus.  
   I hope your son enjoys his time at Universary. I understand you want to protect your kids from any bad or unpleasant news of your Mom but they may want to comfort you also.  Kids are pretty
resilent and figure things on their own.  I hope your son enjoys his classes but is safe.  Even If he
has his vaccine shots, you want him to be safe and healthy.  The fact that your son has started
Universary is another stress added to your daily schedule.  One of my cousins has been going for
chemo and radiation for cancer in her lymph nodes.  She was in remishion and then it came back.
I say a prayer for her and her family nightly.  Please hang in there and remember you are doing the
best that you can do,  You are going to have good days and bad days and that is alright.  You are human and have the right to be angry one minute, sad or happy the next.  I take one day at a time and no two days are the same.  I keep reminding myself that each day I get to spend with my Mom is a blessing.  Wish I could email you but we can't.  Please look after yourself.
Country Pumpkin
 
Réponse de Mary09
08 oct. 2021, 20 h 27

Hi Country Pumpkin,
My parents have been married 53 years...almost the same as your parents.  I'm glad your mom has made peace with what's to come...that's so important.  I don't think my mom is there yet.  I too do not socialize at all actually...ever since my mom got sick.  And more so since COVID.  Being a caregiver can be very isolating.  You feel like you don't want to be a downer with your friends.  Or at least that's how I have felt.
It is Thanksgiving this weekend and it will be our first not having my parents at our table.  She's not able to sit up with her back so I'll just send dinner to them on a tray.  It's very sad. It's hard to let go of all the traditions. 
You are right...every day is a blessing...some days its hard to remember that.  Thanks for reminding me. 😊
 If I don't talk to you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and hopefully we can chat again soon.  

Mary xo 
 
Réponse de country pumpkin
09 oct. 2021, 19 h 39

Hi Mary09

I understand completely about not having our family members at the dinner table especially on
special occassions.  My family rarely come up for special events except Christmas.  I do not even
want to celebrate that.  I believe in Christ and believe you can than the Lord anywhere, it doesn't
necessary have to be in Church to let God you have faith etc.  My brothers seem to have their lives
and Mom and I have our.  Because I have the Kitchen all disarray from painting we are not having
Thanksgiving.  I take trays up to Mom on a daily basics and spend my meal with her because she is bedridden.  I too do not feel much like celebrating anymore just because there is so much stress and tnesion over Mom's health.  I find I'm becoming a Hermit, I do not want to go visit with people or even or be around them.  I'm sure you are struggling and hurting deeply inside, I can relate.
I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving even though you have so much stress and sadness in your life
Just keep reminding yourself your Mom loves you and appreciates all the care and love you give her.  She may not always say it or show it but she loves you deeply.  I know for my Mom is the same.  Mom lets me know she is ready to die and is not afraid of it.  She is very tired and weak and doesn't want to keep living this way.  I listen to her stories and spend as much time as I can with her.  My heart is breaking on the inside because my Mom is my best friend and keeps me grounded.  I have had some hard times in life just like anyone else.  I once was married but got a divorce because my husband had been cheating on me.  I'm not one to make friends easy because of trust issues.  When Mom goes I'm going to feel even more alone but I am a survivor which helps me through the good and bad days.  I wish yyou peace and tranquility because you have a very hard time among you.  God is beside you and loves you.  Country Pumpkin
 
Réponse de country pumpkin
14 oct. 2021, 1 h 39

Hi Mary 09
Hope you are hanging in and still coping with everything.  I'm sorry that your youngest son has

to cope with diabetes.  No one should have to rely on insulin at such a young age.  I'm still busy

working on painting my <om's Kitchen cupbords, drawers and doors.  I figure this job will take 


me at least another 3 weeks.  If you need to talk I'm here for you.  Country Pumpkin
 
Réponse de Mary09
14 oct. 2021, 2 h 54

Hi Country Pumpkin,
I am so sorry I must have missed your last message!  I had a hectic Thanksgiving weekend and was a bit all over the place.  I hope you're hanging in there.  I must say I really admire how you keep busy and positive with all you have going on around you.  I find it so hard to stay positive but I suffer from anxiety and depression so that makes it hard.  We did have Thanksgiving dinner but my mom did not eat even one bite.  She has barely eaten all weekend.  All she does is sleep and I think that is from the chemo.  Her doctor wanted me to take her to hospital as her oxygen levels are low but she refuses.  I am at a loss what to do any more.  We have chemo again tomorrow and we' talk about more medication.  I'm just shattered and feeling suffocated by it all.  But I will take care of her till her last day. 
We too are a family of faith but have not been to church in years.  I pray all the time for God to take over and help us through these days.  
I also am very alone in my situation...I left work years ago for family health issues and I've never been the same since.  As time went on I lost touch with all my friends so really it's just my spouse, my two boys and my parents.  
Hopefully you got your painting done...sounds like you have lots to accomplish.  One day at a time and take some time to rest!!!

Sunshine - I wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing and how your mom is.  
I hope we can connect soon and chat.

bye for now ladies,
Mary xo 
 
Réponse de sunshine79
14 oct. 2021, 15 h 22

Hi Mary,

Yes, I can definitely relate to having a very busy Thanksgiving weekend. Mom is alright, for the most part. I still go and visit her daily and most visits are good, but sometimes we just watch TV or I read to her, which she seems to really enjoy. She is eating pretty good but is very tired and gets bouts of confusion. Listening to how awful chemo is on your mom is so sad. I can't imagine how she must be feeling. I am a bit relieved my mom doesn't have to go through all that but I also wish she would have chose a treamtment to try...at least it would feel like we were trying something. 

I am starting to have a rocky marriage though as I start to resent my husband more and more  for not supporting me throughout this. I have been blatantly honest with him about how unsupported I feel and nothing seems to change. It's draining. I see my counsellor on Friday at least. 

I hope we will be able to chat soon via email. I haven't heard anymore on that. 

Sending you a hug & hope you have a better day.





 
 
Réponse de Mary09
15 oct. 2021, 2 h 01

Hi Sunshine,
Im glad to hear from you and that your mom is doing okay.  Is the facility far from you?
My husband and I are having issues also....well let's say I am having the issues as he also is not very supportive.
We had chemo appt today and because my mom is struggling with her breathing sometimes they sent us for a chest X-ray and an ultrasound on her legs to rule out any blood clots.  It was an incredibly long day.  My mom had a lot of fractures in her back also and can barely walk.  Shes had a couple of procedures done that helped the fractures but it didn't fix the pain.  How old is your mom?
I believe Katherine did send you a message.  I got one as well.  Let me look at it and I may be able to contact you tomorrow if that's okay with you.
Bye for now,
Mary 😊 


Nos partenaires
Questions-réponses
Questions-réponses

Découvrez ce que les Canadiens veulent savoir

Consulter un professionnel
Consulter un professionnel

Notre équipe d’experts est là pour répondre à vos questions à propos des maladies potentiellement mortelles et de la perte d’un proche.

Simplement envie de parler?
Simplement envie de parler?

Participez aux forums
de discussion.

Livres, liens et bien plus
Livres, liens et bien plus

Recommandations de notre
équipe

Programmes et services
Programmes et services

Services offerts aux échelons
local, régional et national