Dear SUNSHINE 79,
It is so very hard when a crisis crashes in--and you have a crisis in the midst of a very full and challenging life. I especially feel your struggle in caring for and with both your mother and your father--as their needs are very different.
My last few years caring for both my dad and my mom were so hard. Sometimes I told myself, don't think of yourself as a daughter. Just do what needs to be done as a caregiver. I am not sure that was very helpful--but it helped me to creat a bit of mental space at times.
It's good to hear you let yourself cry, and that you are praying. May you find places to breathe, and to feel yourself loved, even if only in timy minutes each day.
Peace to you,
Nouce