There is an elderly couple at hospice right now. They have been there more than a month. He is dying, she is nurturing. She is with him every day and sleeps in his room every night. They are from “the old country”. They have been married over half a century.
He is at peace with dying. She is always smiling, and chatting and creating a positive, even cheerful atmosphere. He luxuriously bathes in the warm waters of her love – he smiles all the time. They are a shining example to all of us at hospice.
As a hospice volunteer, I bear witness for them by marveling in the story of their love and telling them so. They both know how fortunate they have been to have had each other’s love. Their love is so powerful that, you can easily see how their love conquers the sadness regarding his dying process. They both seem to want to minimize the negative and maximize the positive in the short time he has left.
I hold space for them by briefly joining them in their beautiful “space”. I stay only briefly each time to let them maximize their time together. The time I do spend with them is spent in prayer (they are very religious), listen to the stories of their wonderful life together, or contribute to the positive environment that they desire and have created. I tell them how the example that they set has enhanced my own marriage and how many of us at hospice have said the same thing.
Love is like jam. You cannot spread it without getting at least a little bit on yourself.
-eKim