My father has not been enjoying his life for a very long time. As he has gotten older and has had various health issues, he has expressed that his life is no longer worth living on many many many occasions. He has been assessed and treated for depression, but this has not changed his way of thinking.
He has lived with us for the past few years and although he has the support and encouragement of his whole family and many friends, he chooses to be miserable.
Unfortunately, he was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease. Our whole family supported him as he chose to continue with his appointments and treatment and he was doing really well (symptom wise) as the treatments were working.
On a visit with the doctor recently, he mentioned MAiD would be an option for him if things got to be too much. Well, once those words left his mouth, my dad did not hear anything else from that point on. He decided then and there that he wanted MAiD and as soon as possible.
Besides not discussing this decision with me, he has now basically just shut down and is no longer eating or drinking and says he needs help to use the bathroom. He now can no longer control his bowels and makes a mess every night. He will no longer take his meds unless I come and give them to him.
He has stopped watching television or listening to the radio and just sits in his chair all day starring at the wall or the floor.
While my family and I respect his decision to die in a way that he will not suffer etc. I do not appreciate that he did not even mention this to me after I have been looking after every aspect of his life and have been with him at every appointment etc. for the past 2 years. I truly think he believes that the sicker he is that the quicker he will have MAiD.
The fact that he has already basically stopped living is killing me and my family because we all try and interact with him and he is just sitting there starring at the floor.
We have PSW and nursing support, but there is no help for us in dealing with all of this.
I am angry, frustrated, exhausted and extremely sad that this is happening.
Thanks for listening.