Hi Razz. First, my condolences on the loss of your brother. Consider yourself blessed that at least you can go home after your visit with your mother. My mother was with me for over 20 years. I have no other family. Just me. She passed away in September at age 99. Besides many other ailments, she suffered from severe dementia which for me meant daily ugly verbal abuse. There was no escape for me except to go to work. That meant I dreaded weekends and vacations.

I don't know what province you're in, but these are some things that helped me:

1. income tax. My mother would have her income tax done at a senior's centre. Tax volunteers would do this for a small donation. But the gentleman we had suggested making my mother my dependent and doing our taxes jointly. This meant I received a return of about $4000 as her primary caregiver. He did all the paperwork for us. Once I was given this status, the taxes were redone for the past 7 years which was very financially beneficial.

2. care. Check out your provincial government website for caregiving. You can request a senior's guide that contains really great information for various assistance and programs you can apply for to help your mother out. For example, check out family-managed assistance. This program was a godsend to me. Your mother may be eligible for this. This provided me with 55 hours of homecare by a private homecare agency which included weekends. I specifically needed this because my mother needed more care and I have 4 dogs. It gave me a break that I hadn't had in years.

Your family and friends do not walk in your footsteps. They don't understand the frustration because they don't have to deal with it. Sometimes strangers are much easier to talk to you.

Take care and good luck. There is great support on this site with some people knowing exactly what you're experiencing. Read some of the other posts as well. You're not alone. My section was called 'stressed and depressed'.

Barbara