Dear Cyn,
reading your note today, I can get a feeling for all the many frustrations you are dealing with, not to mention the unknowns, which way to go, which hospital, how to handle your sick husband and support him while dealing personally with his changing health, moods, fears, and your own.
i used to live near Kingston, now farther north, but I have heard great things about the cancer centre there - I think you are making the best choice given your location, work, one vehicle etc.
sad to hear the doctor lacks a bedside manner, or at very least common courtesy in communications. That makes it challenging on you the caregiver.
rest assured many will respond here - allowing you to vent, giving you some interactions that are without irritation, judgement etc.
i know what it feels like to deal with medical professionals that have an edge. Sometimes you have to wonder what is causing their attitude. Often it could be from pressures, burnout, etc. not making excuses but lately I try to look at others (now that I am older) and try to figure out what makes people tick!
the 15% odds sounds scary, and I can only imagine the stress you are under along with your husband
please keep writing when you need to vent, I only wish it was possible to give you a real hug and remind you to take care of yourself as you travel this hard part of your life jour net.
my thoughts to you and your husband,
sincerely,
NatR ;)