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Loss and still grieving  
Started by Booboo70
10 Aug 2021, 6:20 PM

I lost my husband over a year ago and I am still at a loss, I cry all the time and as of late very depressed.
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Reply by McRalph
10 Aug 2021, 8:04 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.  Losing your husband is devastating.  Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal.  It's only been a year!  How long were you together?

I lost my husband of 20 years in January.  It's still very painful.  I just recently got the book "it's ok that you're not ok" by Megan divine.  I find it very helpful in letting me know I am normal and not alone.  I also attend a GriefShare group online which is also helpful, especially the videos.

you are not alone and your level of grief is normal.  It's a lot to work through and you never get over it.  My heart goes out to you. 
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Reply by Booboo70
10 Aug 2021, 8:22 PM

Hi thanks for responding, we were married for 51 yrs. I wI'll make it short because I am new to this site, I cry to much to talk in person to anyone although I only have 1 friend in the town I live in moved here 3 yrs ago because my husband went into a home and I regret putting him there I think that's why I can't get past this. He only lasted a yr and a 1/2 he had Parkinsono disease and went downhill as soon as he went into the hom. I was his caregover. 
I wanted to join something to help me see how other people deal with their loss.
 I think I will look into the site you mentioned here as well at this point I'm desperate to hopefully find myself if you understand what I mean.
Thanks for listening. 
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Reply by Booboo70
10 Aug 2021, 8:28 PM

Hi again sorry can you give me the name of the grief share group u mentioned please and thank.
 
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Reply by McRalph
10 Aug 2021, 8:32 PM

Of course.  Here is the website you can sign up.  I will let you know that it is religiously based so if you do not like that sort of thing it might not be right for you.  Check it out to see.  I am not super religious but found the videos so helpful.
 https://www.griefshare.org 
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Reply by Booboo70
10 Aug 2021, 8:37 PM

Hi thanks very much I myself am not a religious person but doesn't hurt to check it out.
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Reply by MargMarie
10 Aug 2021, 10:01 PM

Dear Booboo70
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband. My husband passed away 10 months ago, and I find that sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago and other times it feels like yesterday. I also enjoyed Megan Devines book " It's ok not to be Ok". Sometimes people think that there is a time frame on grief, my experience is that it comes in waves, and you never know what is going to trigger it. I don't believe that we ever " get over it", but I believe that we learn to live around it.  I also have a HUGE belief in God, so that has helped me through many dark nights. I know we are supposed to remain anonymous, but if you ever need an ear, I can supply my contact information. Sometimes it helps to know that we are not alone, and that many people have walked this same path....
Sincerely
Marg 
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Reply by Lighthouse
12 Aug 2021, 3:52 AM

Dear Booboo70,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a spouse is very painful. 

We lost my aunt in March. My uncle is feeling her loss greatly, as we all are. He is blessed to be surrounded by much love and support. As a family, we are all grieving, my mom and my other aunt. They were all very close.  I had a very close bond with my aunt. I am grieving her loss deeply, but I recognize that my uncle's loss, is much greater than mine.   

Regret or guilt, over the choices we made while our loved one was living, is very common. I would imagine that having your husband moved to the home, was probably felt to be the right decision at the time. Be kind to yourself. We all do the best we can. Guilt is something our family has also discussed. It's so important to let the guilt go, and to be kind to yourself. Be gentle.  

As you have found this resource, there many resources and supports that you might find helpful. You are taking a good step forward, in coming here. It takes strength to seek help. 
Grief is a process, and takes as long as it takes. Seeking help, and sharing, are baby steps, in your healing process. With love and kindness. Valerie

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Reply by Mark99
03 Sep 2021, 10:29 PM









 


I lost Donna. 28 years of husband and wife. Living with loss feels like a bitter pitcher of lemonade. My memories of us of her is the sugar I add to that lemonade of grief. I unfold my memories like reverse engineering origami Cranes so I can reflect and be enlightened by the continuous gift of love we shared. I can dwell on a my future being richer for what was, what is, and what will be. 




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