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Reply by MargMarie
20 Feb 2021, 7:04 PM

Dear Storybook 
I am not sure what the protocol is on exchanging numbers, but if you ever just want to call and talk, cry, vent, I am home most weekday evenings after 5:30, and do not work on weekends. I live in Nova Scotia, so our Covid restrictions are not so bad right now, so I have been able to see my friends and family regularly, which has helped my loneliness to be eased. Having said that, unless you have walked this path, I don't think you have any idea of the internal pain. I know that I had no idea how hard losing your husband would be, and now will be a much better support for anyone else. I am a slow typer, so I do much better talking. Having another property must be difficult, I hope you have someone that can help you downsize, perhaps a youth group, or donation organization would be willing to help? Thank you for the Covid bubble invite! 💕
Marg   
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20 Feb 2021, 9:34 PM

Hi,
To respond to your 'wondering' Marg, the Discussion Forums are public, which means people who are members and those who are not are able to read them. For that reason we ask that members not post contact information - to help ensure the forum is a safe community.

Warm regards from here in the middle of Canada:)
Katherine 
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Reply by MargMarie
20 Feb 2021, 10:43 PM

Thank you Katherine, I didn't know what the protocol was, I do know how lonely this walk is, and sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger who doesn't know you, than your closest friends...I poured out my heart to a sales  clerk the other day , she probably thought I was a little loony, but she listened patiently and expressed her condolences.
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Reply by eKIM
20 Feb 2021, 11:00 PM

Hi, it's eKim

In my lifetime I have lost my Mom and Dad, a brother, a cousin, a sister, a sister-in-law, and a brother-in-law.  The last 3 happened in 2020.

My wife of 51 years is in good health, as am I.

As a result, I cannot even imagine what you are going through.  But I have you in my thoughts and prayers.

If it were to happen to me, I just know that I would be totally overwhelmed.  I would need a lot of help - both from a professional therapist as well as in Group Grief sessions. 

In addition, I would also depend on this forum of caring, compassionate souls who reach out to help others.  

And this is despite the fact that for going on 11 years now, I have been a resident and family support volunteer at hospice in the psychosocial/spiritual area. 

I am currently helping individuals who are grieving via phone.  Also, I am assisting the group leader in Group Grief and Bereavement sessions.

Two Things:

In the 7 years or so that I have been on this forum as a "helper", I know that:

1) I am not allowed to give specific advice - only listen and give a helping hand.  As it should be.

2) I am not allowed (and never, ever should) to proselytize my spiritual beliefs.  I fully support people of all faiths and religions and spirituality.  Also, I am good with no-theists - that describes most of my friends and family.

Having said that I must say that what has gotten me through has been my faith.  I trust God for EVERYTHING.  And (I'm in no hurry, of course) but when it is my time for transition, I am actually excited about reuniting with my loved ones - for eternity!

I notice religious/faith/spiritual sentiments in the above posts.

If anyone is interested in starting a separate thread that is based on faith and spirituality, let me know.  I would be pleased to share in this area.  Learning how the faith of other people acts to help them helps me.

- eKim


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Reply by eKIM
20 Feb 2021, 11:10 PM

Hi MargMarie

I can relate to your comment: "sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger who doesn't know you, than your closest friends."

I have been the recipient of such a phenomenon in my lifetime.  Also, I have had the honour of "being there" for others as well.

I love the term he/she is a "perfect stranger".

Sometimes that is true.  Of course, they are just like us - not perfect.  What is perfect is the moment, the serendipitous coincidence of two souls gently meeting.

I love the saying, "The definition of a coincidence:  It's simply God's way of remaining anonymous."  Isn't that sweet?

-eKim
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Reply by Storybook
20 Feb 2021, 11:12 PM

Thx for clarification Katherine, it's great that privacy is honoured in this forum.

I appreciate your willingness to offer a listening ear & be supportive Marg, very kind. I like your suggestion with getting people to help clean up the piles of stuff. I'm being selective as to who I ask for help though. His work mates have offered to help if I need it, but they don't know the scale of the situation and I want to protect my late husband's work reputation and not taint it with his personal struggles of hoarding. I also don't want a crew of strangers come in as I am looking through everything searching for something personal & family items I've yet to locate.
I hope we can stay connected & support each other through this forum Marg.

Storybook 
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Reply by MargMarie
20 Feb 2021, 11:34 PM

Thank you eKim , it sounds like you have been a huge support to many people, I too, believe there are no coincidences in life. It's wonderful that you are there to help many people who have different beliefs.

 
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Reply by MargMarie
20 Feb 2021, 11:38 PM

Dear Storybook 
I , also, hope that we can stay connected. You will get through this!! One breath at a time!
Marg  
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Reply by Storybook
20 Feb 2021, 11:58 PM

EKIM

Thx for your posts.
I too have had a life time of loss, close to 20 events linked to loss over 5 decades. The loss of my husband is by far the hardest as it has touched every aspect of my life. Overwhelmed is exactly what I'm experiencing. I agree there are a lot of caring & compassionate souls on this forum. I'd forgotten about this means of support the past several weeks while dealing with financial details, facing mental fatigue from processing my emotions & pure physical exhaustion.

I like the suggestion of starting a thread on faith & spiritually during grief. 
Curious, you menetioned Group Grief sessions & Bereavement sessions. What's the difference between? Is this something offered on this site?

Storybook 
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21 Feb 2021, 12:12 AM

Hi Storybook,

I know eKIM will give excellent information but thought I would (again) pop in to say we don't have Group Grief or Bereavment sessions on this forum but there we do have a link to Programs and Services  nationally and provincially.  If you click on the provincial piece (for those who are Canadian) and then on the province you are living in there will be a listing you can check out. As well, not sure if you have seen Ask A Professional AAP. That is another service of Canadian Virtual Hospice for Canadians. 

Marg I like, One breath at a time. 

Katherine


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