I met my soulmate/husband in 1988. At the time I'd never heard of M.S. We fell in love and in 1990 we were married. I started to learn about M.S. and what it can do to a person. Gary had Primary Progressive PPMS. He progressed very slowly until the last 5 years when it started to really take its toll on us. We had PSWs but I was his main caregiver. The last few months got very hard to the point I was feeding him and doing the most intimate things for him with only love in my heart. Hey FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. I never thought of it as the worst just my part of being a loving wife. In Oct 2009 I took him to the hospital for a suspected stroke. He was admitted and somehow got an infection which I was told by my Dr I already knew he had. I didn't. He steadly got worse to the point where his organs started to shut down. I just made it to the hospital and held him in my arms. I whispered not to fight it any longer, just go to sleep which he did seconds later. I blame myself for his death and I always will. I should have seen more signs after all I was his caregiver. There isn't a day goes by when I don't think of him and how I was so lucky to have made it to the hospital in time to hold him in my arms as he passed away. That day will haunt me forever. He is with me at all times and lets me know when he is around usually via the printer. I go for councilling this month but I will never forgive myself for Nov 3 2009. The day he was taken from me.

By: Irene