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My hubby has nodular sclerosing Hodgkin lymphoma stage 4 
Started by Sita
12 Mar 2019, 7:34 PM

My husband has been admitted to hospital in October 2018 for kidney problems. The next day they told us that he had extensive lymphoma.He spent 2 weeks in Kelowna General Hospital.It took 2 months to have the diagnosis confirmed and staged.It was a horrible time for me,travelling everwhere  for appointments and tests to Kelowna,Vancouver and Nelson while running our businesses ,plus the worry and anxiety about the diagnosis,not knowing was terrible.ìChemotherapy CHOP R started right after Christmas. Today he is getting his 4th round of chemo. The last Ct scan showed a positive response but when we tried to ask about further treatment after this course,I was sensing a resistance from the specialist. There are cancerous cells in the lymphnodes,spleen,liver and bones.I don,t that everything will be cursed and stem cell transplant is not an option because of the high risk factor.I am suffering from depression, feeling guilty at times for whining when he is so sick.we put our businesses on the market which is also sad for me.,
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Reply by Ogechi Asagwara (Ogechi@virtualhospice.ca)
20 Mar 2019, 4:00 PM

Hi Sita – I am sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. From what you describe it sounds like you both have been dealing with a lot over the last several months.

I appreciate your honesty and ability to be candid. It can be hard for the partner or caregiver of someone dealing with illness. Caregivers are often focused on their loved ones needs, at times neglecting their own. Being the main support can be emotionally, physically and mentally challenging. The range of emotions, highs and lows people experience when dealing with an illness like your husbands can be vast. It is not uncommon to experience a range of emotions, which may include resentment, anger and frustration about how much is required of you or how much your lives have now changed. It’s hard for me or anyone to tell you how you should or shouldn’t be feeling in such a situation.

I would encourage you to be patience with yourself as much as you can. Many things are different for you, your husband and your life now. Accepting help from others, taking breaks and continuing to care for yourself are important practices to remember. Caring for yourself will ultimately allow you to continue to care for your husband. If you are dealing with depression, this is something you should explore with your own health care provider as they will know the best way to address this.

You might consider connecting with supportive services or resources from the cancer center where your husband receives treatment. Often social workers are linked with cancer centers, a big part of their role is connecting with families to provide emotional support, therapeutic counsel and to connect individuals with further supportive resources if needed or wanted. Consider asking to be connected with them for support, they are often a great resource and good listening ear. Typically, they can see family members even if they are not working directly with the cancer patient.

Wishing you renewed strength each day. Take care.

-Ogechi (CVH Moderator)
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