Dale,
As you say there are no easy words or simple fixes.
A tag line for the Discussion forum is, “You’re not alone.” One of the things I love about this forum is that members walk alongside each other - we listen, support, and sometimes offer advice without telling people what to do. We help them know they are not alone. A member, Angelefish, wrote, “I don’t feel so alone knowing others have or have had the same feelings as me. It makes me feel less crazy and more normal…”
Thankfully it is not our responsibility to determine what is right or wrong for others. It is tough enough for us to decide on our own behalf, let alone trying to make those decisions when we have a very limited understanding of all the issues, concerns and questions.
Kirstie,
You are asking about joy. Your life, as you have known it, has taken an unanticipated, unwanted turn. Everything is upside down and nobody has a script to follow. Maybe joy will be absent for a time, but it sounds to me like you and your family are doing the very best you can in the circumstances - perhaps being aware of that will help support you in the next days, weeks and months.
Katherine