Thank you the hugs and the positive loving energy sent our way - thank you :)
Taking time out right now for coffee., then back at packing hopefully by end of today all done and tommorow and sat. just cleaning whew.
He has lost his voice now., thank god we're doing power of attorney today. Gosh sakes
What takes place in 24 hours is wow., I knew it was coming and he is on #20 radiation, but seriously every 24 hours something news just pops up. Like I say you know it's going to happen but every 24 hours is something new, his hearing is starting to go too., I so wish we could do something to comfort all people who are going through this you know but there is NO comforting., yes we can be there and support but other than that., nothing really.
I am at a loss of what to say to him., he is upset with his own body at this point., I suppose he is coming to terms with it, you know those stages., knowing, then acknowledge, then accepting. I'm unsure if cancer patients ever come to the accepting stage? Just thoughts coming to my mind as I type.
Unfortunately, not much they can do for the dry heaving they say it's a mechanical thing not the chemical thing due to chemo., they say it has to do with his throat., some people not all but there is a percentage that are affected like this :(
That's hard for him I know - I know how it is affecting our son & even me what takes place in 24 hours let alone him - gosh. He was quite cranky/grumpy on Monday Tues., well because he knows his hearing is going , which he finally admitted to me., understandable with the crankiness. Just wish there was some way to comfort but nope there is only support.
I had a couple of his buddies yesterday there when he came back from hospital., which was good all sat outside chatting and breathing in the fresh air., it was good for him., he was joking, teasing, and overall just jovial. Then last night his voice got quite gruff then this morning he barely has a voice :(
My son I know htere is the other thing not much I can do there either. He's so concerned and worried about his dad., they used to tease and joke, and go to hockey together and watch hockey and golf together but now they don't really talk I noticed and well golfing is out cuz of sun and then my son goes to hockey but his dad has not gone for 2 wks now.
The hockey is the most one that was their bonding time, his dad has gone to every singley game since he has been 5 yrs old he's now 18., with exception while he was in hosptial for 4 months in 2013/2014. So jsut another reminder for our son about his dad's health :(
I personally think our son is doing ok., he's got great support in his friends & has 2 teachers to speak too also and of course me. He does aske questions and is open and honest with me about his concnerns/worries. Ahh he says mom I'm ok with everything except if dad is going to die., is he? He has brought that up twice now and all I say is I can't say that honey., nor will the dr's there are no guarantees, we just have to see what happens a few months after dad has completed his treatments ok. He can come through this., but each body is different in how it deals with the treatments., maybe your dad will not have severe side effects like some? We don't know that so let's just go day by day ok. Then I tell him how much I love and care about him and we talk about other things., I do this so he can think of positive things going on in his life and not dwell too much on the negative., NO it's not because I don't want him to delal with or push away his thoughts about his dad, I just don't want him to be in that place all the time., it seems to be working., he laughs and kids and tries to bring a smile to his dads face. He gets it out with me and we talk about his dad's condition after dinner we have our talks about what we've noticed in last 24 hours then we both just move on from that., so it's not like we're not dealing with it., we just can't stay there - hope this makes sense., i think it does us both good and then we carry on with our day.
I will feel much more relieved and less stress once packing done and everything moved into storage on sat. morning., then clean on sat. then hopefully if all goes well i'm there sunday that is what i'm shooting for.
thank you for listening to me :) I hope others who are going through this keeps their chin up and reminder it is only temporary not a permanent thing (treatments I Mean) and go from there...