Greetings to all. It is dark by 6 now, and Pablo, following an afternoon drive with me, is tired and wants to go to bed. I'm thankful that now he is in a care facility I can call young strong people to get him there safely. I feel a sense of anxiety, or dread, as the holidays approach. So many holiday years now with the shadows of death hanging over us, and with all the heavy family dymanics that reality adds into the mix.

I am so busy with my work, but I feel a strong urge to hibernate--run away! But instead I will keep plodding.

I'm grateful you all are there, who share the load.

Nouce

Gungadin,

We are so sorry to hear about the death of your husband and best friend. The muddle of grief can be overwhelming and seem so constant. Hopefully you are starting to experience small breaks in the waves, so at least there is a bit of calm before the next wave starts to pull you again.

The emotions can be so strong and you can feel helpless as they seem to take over at their own will, with a force too difficult to control.

A website about grief, www.mygrief.ca might be helpful to you. It has modules that you can look at, and wonderful videos about others who have experienced grief that are most helpful and informative. They help you realize you are not alone. If you are feeling isolated and want some companionship with others who are grieving and understand what you are going through, perhaps there is a grief group that you can attend.

We are thinking of you as you reinvent yourself amidst your grief and loss,

Simone (CVH Discussion Forums Moderator)