Hi Colleen and Nat:
Thanks Colleen for raising this difficult yet important topic again!
Nat, your post is superb! I bet many people can relate to the superstition factor as we often fear that if we say it (shhhh . . . death) out loud somehow we will be jinxed, yet we all know early on that our journey toward the next life begins at conception.
I have spoken with my kids about this subject and they are not nearly as ready or willing to hear me speak about the eventuality of my own death and my final wishes, but they have tolerated my need to start and continue the discussion. It is evolving. Even though it's been more than a year now since my Mom, their Nanny died, it still feels very fresh to us all and I think that talking about death brings up fearful feelings and discomfort.
The main thing I have stressed to my children should they have to make any decision about my end of life for me in the absence of my crystal clear direction, that they could make no mistakes as I know they would do for me what we did for my Mom. Love would be their guide and I trust it, I trust them and their judgment completely.
I at least do have a grave site already paid for and that's a beginning for my end. My Mom had no plans in place and as silly as it may seem given her age of 84 when she died, I never gave final planning, hers, mine or anyone's, much thought.
So now, I am thinking and talking about getting organized. An end of life plan is now loosely drafted because I do know from experience that I wish to spare my children the heartache and burden of having to make medical decisions and funeral arrangements for me while they are in the throes of debilitating sorrow.
Making a plan when calm, rational and detached from the immediacy of it all makes sense to me and then my family wouldn't be forced to make these serious decisions for me while under emotional duress. I guess it's about accepting personal responsibility as well.
I may not yet be prepared, but when I am you can be sure I will leave a detailed description of my final wishes and when the time is right, I will talk about it openly with each of my children!:-)
On National Advance Planning Day let's think about what would happen if when we can no longer speak for ourselves. It is important that we have an advocate, so let's all consider again, appointing someone we trust to carry out our final wishes!
Praying time is on our side. Touch wood! :-)
VHcath